


We are just friends, Zayn!

by x_louis_loves_harry_x



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bottom Zayn, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mention of Larry, Scratching, Smut, Top Liam, Uni AU, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-18 00:30:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3549314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_louis_loves_harry_x/pseuds/x_louis_loves_harry_x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam and Zayn have known each other since they were four years old and went together to kindergarten. When they were eighteen they got accepted on the same university and moved to London together. Now they are twenty. But what happens when Zayn develops feelings for his best friend, who is definitely straight like a pole?</p>
            </blockquote>





	We are just friends, Zayn!

**Zayn PoV**

"Zayn wake up we are late for uni!"

I hear Liam calling from the end of the hallway. I stretch myself and look at my phone to check the time. It's already 9:20 AM and we have to be in our first class in 40. I quickly get out of bed and grab some fresh clothes before I head to the small bathroom of our flat.

I brush my teeth and style my hair up into a quiff before looking in the mirror. There are dark shadows underneath my eyes, from all the sleepless nights I had the last few days. I splash some fresh water on my face and pull on my black skinny jeans and a Joy Division shirt which is a little too big on me.

Then I head into our kitchen to make myself a coffee, because let's be honest, you can't survive without at least a few cups of coffee a day. Liam of course, always tells me it's not good to drink so much of it. And of course he tells me I should stop smoking as well.

Speaking of which, I haven't had my 'wake up cigarette' this morning. I take my cup and go out on our small balcony, grabbing my lighter and cigarettes on the way. It's really cold outside, so I wrap my arms around my body after I lid my cigarette. I take a long drag and inhale it deeply, breathing it out again moments later.

After finishing it, while occasionally sipping on my black coffee, I go back inside, only to find Liam at the door, ready to leave. I never understood how he could be such a morning person. He even goes for a run everyday before uni.

"Morning Li. Give me two more minutes."  He nods and smiles at me.

I finish my cup and pull my leather jacket and boots on. Then I grab my phone and my bag and we head out of our apartment.

We make small talk on our way to the underground station, but as soon as we are seated in the tube, Liam turns to me with a worried expression on his face.

"Zayn, what's wrong? I noticed you barley slept those last few days and you look really tired. I'm worried." I look at him and he really looks worried, a frown on his face. And yeah it's true, I look tired and I am tired. The last few days I just couldn't sleep, only one or two hours every night, and the worst thing is, I don't know why.

"Don't worry Liam." I smile at him. "I'm sure it's just the stress with the upcoming exams."

There isn't time to say much more, because we have to get out of the tube and practically sprint to university, so we won't be late. We get in class two minutes before it starts and we both take our seats in the back.

"Little bit exhausted, eh?" Louis teases beside me, probably because I'm breathing pretty heavy.

"Shut up, Tommo!" I say and box him in the shoulder playfully.

He just laughs and returns to making out with Harry, his boyfriend obviously. The two of them are just disgusting, really. They act like a teenie couple, being head over heels for each other. You would think they would have only been a couple for a few weeks with all the making out and blushing and giggling into each others chests, but no. It has been two fucking years of this shit and they are probably getting married one day.

Liam and I met them two and a half years ago, and we thought them just being close friends was bad, but them being an achingly cute couple is even worse. But we all became close friends, including Niall. He has been a friend with Louis and we are all getting along with each other very well.

After we finished class for the day, the others wanted to go to Starbucks, but I was just too tired.

"Come on Zayni, let's all go to Starbucks." Harry whines.

"Yeah Z come on!" Niall patts me on the shoulder to encourage me. I just shake my head and turn to Liam. He is giving me his best puppy eyes and god his eyes are beauti... - wait what!? What is wrong with me, I can't think of Liam like this.

"Eh mate you are drooling. Stop checking out our poor Liam." Louis jokes and starts laughing.

Checking him - what? Everyone knows I am gay but I never even thought about Liam like that.

As I made my way home, all I could think about was Liam. I thought about him as I said my goodbyes at uni, I thought about him on my way to the underground, in the tube and on my way back to our flat.

Now I'm laying in bed, still thinking about him, and it makes me sad. I grab a cigarette, put it between my lips and light it.

I take a deep drag and start to think about how I met Liam all those years ago. At this time I was only four years old and I can't really remember much, but my mom told me about it. I was a really quite kid in kindergarten and had no friends. When Liam was three years old, his family moved to Bradford and he joined the same kindergarten. The first few times Liam talked to me, I ignored him, but after my mom and his mom started hanging out with each other, we got pretty close. Liam was my first best friend and the only one I trusted.

I take another deep drag of my cigarette and start to think about our time at primary, middle and high school. Liam had made a few friends, but for me he was my only friend. He could have made a lot more friends, but he always stayed by my side and didn't care about meeting new people. When we went to high school I got bullied, because I was the strange, shy kid, and it was really hard for me, but Liam always made sure to comfort me. One day I got hit by a few of my bullies. They punched me in the face and than in my stomach, and I collapsed in the hallway. I remember Liam finding me there and he had punched one of them so hard, that the boy had a blue eye for weeks. Normally Liam is totally against violence,but he wanted to protect me and so he did, because he was my friend. 

I take another drag and think about our time on college. You would think that college is the part of your life where you get wasted every weekend and have a lot of one night stands. Well, for me it was having sleep overs with Liam, cuddling with him while watching Toy Story for the millionthed time, and if I was lucky, even falling asleep in his arms. We have always been pretty close, but in college we came each other even closer. As friends of course, we will always just be friends.

That's when I feel the first tears streaming down my cheeks. I try to wipe them away, but new ones follow quickly. I put the cigarette in the ashtray next to my bed and light a new one.

I let the tears stream down my face and inhale the smoke of the new cigarette, thinking about how I came out to Liam. I was sixteen when I finally admitted myself that I am gay. I was seventeen when I decided to tell Liam about it, and I was really afraid of his reaction. But Liam just hugged me tightly and told me he still loved me, as a friend of course. 

I am full on crying now, little sobs escaping my lips. I try to take deeps breaths to calm myself down a little bit.

Between the sobs I take another drag of my cigarette, remembering the day we both got accepted at the same university. How we moved to London together, to live with each other, as friends.

I think about all these years I spent with Liam, basically my whole life. Then I think about his pretty brown puppy eyes, and how I get weak every time I look at them, and them looking back. And about his lips, how I wanted to lean in and kiss him so many times before, but it wouldn't be right, so I always push these thoughts away. But let's be honest, I'm in love with my best friend.

By the time I put my second cigarette in the ashtray, my face is completely wet and I am still crying. You have to know, I never cry, and with never, I mean never. I didn't even cry when our dog passed away when I was eleven.

That probably explains, why when I look up and see Liam standing in the doorway, he looks heartbroken. In an instant he is by my side and pulls me into a hug, and I just start crying harder, sobbing into his chest. Liam doesn't say anything, just holds me close and rubs my back, trying to soothe me. I'm glad he doesn't ask me what's wrong, because he knows that I would tell him if I wanted to. We stay like that for a while and eventually I stop crying and Liam looks at me.

"Whatever it is, it's gonna be okay Zayn."

_No, it won't._

"And I am always here for you."

_Yeah, as a friend._

"And you can talk to me about everything."

_No I can't._

"Okay?" He asks.

"Okay." I lie.

I force a smile and after that night, everything went back to normal, at least for Liam.

 

It has been three month since that night, and it has been three months of absolute torture. Liam and I still act the same way we always did, and I try my best of hiding my feelings, but it only gets worse and worse. One month ago, Liam started dating a girl, her name is Danielle and I don't like her. But a week ago she dumped him and since that day Liam is pretty sad. I tried to be there for him as best as I could, and it ended with us watching Toy Story (again). Halfway through the movie we were cuddling with each other, as friends of course, but for me every touch felt like more. I decided right than and there that I had to tell him, and I'm planning on doing it tonight. That's why I am sitting on our couch at the moment, Liam next to me with a worried expression on his face.

"So, what do you want to talk about Z? I'm worried." He say and shifts a little on the couch so he is facing me.

"No need to be worried Li." I smile at him a little. "Like I said, I just want to tell you something." He nods, signaling me to go on.

I take a deep breath before I start. "Look, I really don't know how I could tell you that. It's just..." I sigh. "I like you really much, like really really much. And.. And it's been like that f-for a while now." My voice is slightly shaking and my palms are sweaty.

"I know... know that you are s-straight Liam." It hurts even more saying it out loud. "But I just wanted to tell you that... that I am in lo..." Liam interrupts me by putting his hand over my mouth.

"Stop." He whispers. "Stop saying that Zayn." He sounds a little harsher now.

I look up in his face, and his expression is sad. There are tears welling up in my eyes.

"But I love you, Liam." I whisper, looking straight into his eyes.

Suddenly Liam stands up and he looks really stressed. "No Zayn!" His voice is loud and I flinch a little bit.

He makes his way to the front door. "We are just friends!" He yells, than there is a bang from the door, and Liam is gone.

I look at the door in shock, some tears already falling down my cheeks. I don't even try to wipe them away, and after what feels like and eternity, I make my way into the kitchen. I open the cupboard and grab a full bottle of vodka, not even looking for a glass. I open the bottle and bring it to my lips, tilting my head back and swallow the liquid. One. Two. Three. Four. Five drags, than I put it down.

I grab the bottle and my cigarettes and make my way to the balcony. It's really cold outside but I couldn't care less at the moment. I light my cigarette, take a drag and breath it out again. Then I drink a mouthful of vodka, the burn in my throat is the only thing I am feeling. My body feels numb and I am still silently crying. I can't think clear, the only thing in my head are Liams words.

_Stop saying that Zayn._

I take a long sip and swallow.

_Stop!_

I take another sip.

_No Zayn!_

And another one.

_We are just friends!_

And two more gulps, swallowing hard. My body starts lightly buzzing from the alcohol and I continue talking large drags of the disgusting liquid, my cigarette long forgotten. Eventually I stop crying, because it feels like there is nothing left inside of me. I sink to the ground and lean against the wall. My body is shaking and it's really cold, but I can't convince myself to stand up to go back inside.

With the time, the bottle is almost empty and I feel really lightheaded. I close my eyes and finish the rest of the bottle. _We are just friends._ My head hurts and suddenly everything is blurry. _No Zayn._ I start crying again. _Stop!_

The last thing I hear, is the front door opening, than everything goes black.

 

**Liam PoV**

"We are just friends!" I shout and storm out of the flat, snapping the door close with a bang. As soon as I am outside I start crying I punch the closest wall. There is a little cracking sound and my knuckles start bleeding but I couldn't care less at the moment, though it's probably going to be bruised by tomorrow.

I walk down the street, wrapping my arms around my body, because it's really cold. I still can see Zayns face in front of me, his eyes shining with tears, looking so so sad.

_But I love you Liam._

"No, you don't!" I scream, getting weird looks from some people passing by. My whole body is shaking, due to my sobbing and the freezing temperature of London. I round a corner and find myself in a small alley between two houses. After walking some more steps I collapse on the ground and lean against the brick wall, pulling my knees to my chest. I bury my face in my hands and just let myself cry. He doesn't mean it, Zayn can't love me.

 _I know that you are straight Liam._ Oh Zayn. I think about his words and my lips escapes a little watery laugh. The funny thing is, I am the complete opposite of straight. I only dated Danielle to get over Zayn, and I wasn't sad because of her dumping me, but at the thought that Zayn would never love me the way I love him.

I thought Zayn knew that I am gay, but apparently he doesn't.

At the moment I don't even know why I ran away in the first place, I was just so confused and I guess I needed some time.

I think back at the time I had realised that I like Zayn more than a friend. It has been two years ago, but really it feels like I have been in love with him since forever. It was one of those days where we had a sleepover at Zayns, and we had watched Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets. Zayns head had been on my lap and halfway through the movie, Zayn had fallen asleep, his breathing slowly and steady. I had looked at him, his expression peacefully, his long lashes almost brushing over his sharp cheekbones, and his chapped lips slightly open. He had looked so breathtaking, and I had just stared at him, noticing every single detail on his face. I couldn't resist and had brushed over his cheekbones with my fingers, than I had traced his bottom lip. His eyelids had fluttered open and he had looked at me, smiled and than he had kissed my fingers playfully. I had forgotten how to breath for a second and in that moment, I had known that I was fucked.

I am shivering thinking back at that day, and I decide it would be best to go back to the flat and talk to Zayn.

When I am back at our flat, I wipe the last few tears away and step inside, closing the door behind me. To my surprise, Zayn isn't in the living room anymore, and just when I wasn't to make my way into his room, I realise the door to the balcony is open.

I make my way to the balcony and step outside. At first I can't see Zayn standing at the handrail like he always does and I want to make my way back inside, but when I look to my right, I can feel my heart being ripped apart. Zayn is laying on the ground, curled into a small ball and he doesn't move, next to him an empty bottle of vodka. In an instant I am on my knees, pulling him on my lap.

"Oh baby." I whisper quietly. He is only wearing a shirt and his skin is ice cold. I pull my sweater over my head and wrap it around him, scooping him up in my arms and carrying him inside bridal style. I close the door behind us and sit down on our couch, Zayn still in my arms. I take a blanket and wrap it around Zayn as good as possible, before lifting him up and placing him next to me, to get up and grab a bottle of water. Without my support his head falls to the side a little and my heart clenches.

I hurry into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water, than returning to the couch. Zayn still isn't moving, but his chest rises and falls slightly, so at least he is still breathing. I scoop him back into my arms and hold him close, kissing his forehead.

"I love you too." I whisper quietly, though I know he can't hear me.

I draw small circles on his back with my fingertips, his head resting against my chest.

I don't know how long I sit with him like that, but after a long time I can feel Zayn moving in my arms. He pulls back a little bit and looks at me, his eyes still red and swollen.

"Leeyum?" He asks, slurring slightly, the alcohol obviously still in his system.

"Watcha doing 'ere?" I hug him a little tighter, don't wanting to let him go just now.

"I'm taking care of you." I whisper, rubbing his back.

"You can't do that, Leeyum!" He protests against my chest, his words muffled. "We are just friends, 'member?"

His words hurt me, because they were my last words I said to him, before I left hours ago.

"Maybe we are more." I quietly say. He suddenly pulls away from me and looks at me.

"More?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at me. I nod, brushing some loose hair out of his face, than cupping his cheek softly. Zayn leans into the touch a little and I smile at him. Our faces are only inches apart, but I still pull him a little closer.

"Does more contain kissing?" He whispers, probably afraid to ruin the moment by talking to loud.

I nod again, and he slowly leans in, making sure I won't pull away.

Hesitantly I close the small gap between us and our lips are touching for the first time. Zayn moves his lips against mine slowly and it takes me a moment to react, but when I finally do, it's perfect. Zayns lips are slightly chapped but still kinda soft against my own. My one hand is still holding his cheek and with my other hand I reach for his waist and pull him impossibly closer on my lap. Zayns hands find their way into my hair, pulling slightly. A little moan escapes my lips and Zayn takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. Our tongues move together slowly. Zayn still tastes like smoke and vodka and I break the kiss instantly, which makes Zayn whine a little and leaning in for another kiss but I stop him.

"Zayn, you really sure you want this?" I ask a little nervous, looking into his eyes. They are darker as normally.

"Was never so sure about something." His smile is breathtaking and I lean in to kiss him again. This time the kiss is more passionate and Zayn removes his hands from my hair and starts tugging at the hem of my shirt.

It takes me a moment to get the hint. I pull away from him for a second to remove my shirt, throwing it on the coffee table. Looking back at Zayn, I catch him staring at my exposed chest.

"See something you like?" I tease him, a smirk playing on my lips. He just winks at me and kisses me again. This time he doesn't deepen the kiss though, but kisses up to my jaw, and than down my neck. He starts sucking slightly at the skin just above my collarbone and I moan quietly, tilting my head back to give him a better access.

I can feel a light sting where he bites my skin, but the pain quickly changes into pleasure and I feel myself getting hard under his touch. My hands are shaking a little when I reach out for his shirt and pull a little bit.

"Off." I breath. Zayn moves away to pull his shirt over his head, throwing it behind him.

And in that moment I can't do anything but stare at him shamelessly. It's not like that I haven't seen Zayn shirtless before, but now it's different. The black ink contrasts perfectly on his sun kissed skin and I reach out to slightly trace the tattoos on his chest. Then I lean forward, kissing the small red lips inked between the black wings. I pull back to look at him.

"See something you like?" He teases and I burst out laughing.

"Oh shut up and let's move this to the bedroom." There is a spark in his eyes and he quickly stands up, taking my hands and pulling me up. I lean in to kiss him again, slowly at first, but after a few moments it gets more heated.

I kiss down his neck and grab his bum to lift him up. Zayn gets the hint and wraps his legs around my waist. I can feel Zayns erection against my stomach and I moan, stumbling out of the living room. I have to make a stop in the hallway because Zayn started kissing me again, deepening the kiss instantly, moaning into my mouth. Our tongues slide together, fighting for dominance, which I won.

When we finally stumble through the bedroom door, I carefully lay Zayn down on my bed. For a moment I just stare down at the beautiful boy, laying on my sheets. I lay down next to him and Zayn rolls onto me, carrying his weight with his forearms, which are on either side of my head. I look up at him and smile, and he smiles back.

"I love you, Liam." He whispers and pecks my lips.

"I love you, too." I whisper back and cup his cheeks lightly.

He leans down and slowly kisses me. I bite his bottom lip, asking for permission. He opens his mouth a littler and I deepen the kiss. I turn us both around without breaking the kiss, so that I am laying on top of him. I grind my hips down and we both moan at the contact. When we break the kiss we are both breathing a little heavier.

I start kissing down Zayns neck, sucking on the skin lightly. He throws back his head and moans, thrusting his hips up, searching for friction.

"L-Liam please. Please just fuck me." Zayn whines.

I look up at him. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah! I'm sure." He says.

I just nod and reach for my bedside drawer, grabbing lube and a condom, and placing them next to Zayns head on the sheets.

I peck him on the lips one more time before moving down his chest, leaving a trail of small kisses. When I reach his hips I fumble with his waistband of his sweatpants a little bit. I kiss the dark ink on his skin before sucking slightly on his hipbone, pulling his sweats down, all the way to his ankles. Then I mouth at the waist band of his briefs, and they are so tight that they leave nothing to the imagination.

I wrap my hand around him through the fabric and Zayn throws his head back with a moan. I grab his briefs and slowly pull them down, his cock slapping against his stomach. And okay, that's a sight I never had before. Zayns dick is huge and flushed at the tip. I carefully take the base into my hand and lick the tip, tasting him on my tongue.

Zayn is a squirming mess underneath my touch and I firmly grab his hip with my free hand to hold him down. I lick his tip a few more times before slowly sinking down, looking up at Zayn threw my lashes. He blinks at me, his eyes lust blown and he moans when I go down further. 

I pull off again almost completely before going back down all the way, his tip lightly brushing the back of my throat. I moan around him.

"L-Liam stop!" Zayn groans and I know he is close. I suck on his tip one more time before pulling off completely.

When I kiss Zayn he deepens the kiss, tasting himself on my tongue. I slightly grab his thigh and spread his legs. Then I take the lube, coating three of my fingers.

Zayn spreads his legs a little wider and I reach down to brush one finger over his rim. He shivers because of the cold substance, and I slowly press in, making him hiss in pain. I kiss him, trying to distract him while pushing my finger all the way inside, moving it a little.

After a moment he adjusted to the stretch and I slowly push a second finger inside, making him moan. I push them in and out a few times, scissoring him open.

"L-Li I'm ready... Fuck!" Zayn moans and I move my fingers a little faster, adding a third one.

"Be patient, babe." I whisper, kissing his neck. He squirms underneath me, thrusting his hips back against my fingers.

I push them in a few more times before pulling out completely, making Zayn whine at the empty feeling. I quickly pull down my own sweats and briefs, smirking when I hear Zayns gasp. I rip the condom open with my teeth before and roll it over my painfully hard erection, coating it with lube.

I kiss Zayn on the lips, laying on top of him again. He wraps his legs around my waist and holds my shoulder. With my one hand I'm supporting my weight, the other grabbing my base.

"You ready?" I ask Zayn and he nods. I slowly push inside of him and we both moan at the feeling.

"Fuck you are so tight!" I gasp, pushing in further. Zayn moans again, and I am not sure if from pleasure or pain, or the combination of both of them.

When I completely bottomed out I stop moving and wait for him to get used to the feeling. I lean down to kiss him a few times.

"I love you so much!" I whispers against his lips.

"I love you too, Liam!" He says, biting at my bottom lip. "And now please m-move."

"Oh, so polite." I tease and slowly pull out nearly all the way. Zayn just wants to reply when I slam back inside him and we both moan loudly. I continue to thrust into him, finding a rhythm. I shift a little bit, trying to find Zayns sweet spot, and I know I found it when Zayn screams my name.

"G-God! Right t-there!" He moans, scratching down my back. I hiss little bit at the pain but thrust back in, hitting his prostate dead on.

I feel the heat in the pit in my stomach, signaling I'm close.

"B-Baby, I'm c-close." I try to say between moans.

"M-Me too." Zayn replies and I reach between our bodies to touch his dick.

"F-Fuck!" Zayn moans and my thrusts become a little sloppier. A few moments later he is coming with a shout of my name, painting my hand and his stomach white with come. He is clenching around me and it only takes two more thrust before I'm coming as well, Zayns name leaving my lips.

After a moment I move out of him and he hisses. I collapse next to him on the mattress and we are both breathing pretty hard.

When I cleaned both us and throw the condom in the bin, I lay back down on the bed, pulling Zayn into my chest.

"You know." I whisper. "I have been in love with you since forever." I kiss him on the forehead and pull the blankets over our bodies.

"Please never leave me again." He pleads, looking at me.

"I won't." I tell him and give him a kiss. I wrap my arms around him, his head laying on my chest, and than we fall asleep.

 

The next morning we are having breakfast together, in only our sweatpants, stealing small kisses and touches once in a while, when there is a knock on the door. Zayn looks at me, raising an eyebrow. I just shrug, peck him on the lips and stand up to head for the door. As soon as I opened it, Louis storms inside, dragging Harry along into the living room.

"What about the movie we wan..." He stops, looking a little confused.

"Why are there shirts on the TV and the coffee table?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

"What were you guys doing last night?" Louis questions, turning back to look at me, his eyes widening.

"Oh my god Liam, is this a fucking love bite?" He screams shocked.

I just shrug and turn around to give Zayn a kiss, and if the gasping from Harry and Louis is anything to go with, than there are definitely scratching marks on my back.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it! :)  
> If you find any mistakes, just tell me please so I can correct them! xx


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